Episode 9 of "Oz"
s02e01 The Tip

So everyone's still talking about that wee little skermish that happened that kinda, sorta, destroyed Em City, making it look like my friend Greg's house after one of his legendary all-night parties. Long story short? After the smoke cleared, 2 officers (Nowakowski and Hunt) and 6 prisoners were dead and 34 wounded. Everyone's shoved into Gen. Pop except for the riot leaders who are put into solitary (which gives Adebisi ample on-screen touching-himself time, which i do *not* need to see). Gov. Devlin gets Alvah Case on the scene to help figure where to lay the blame for the whole ordeal. Not surprisingly, Devlin's hoping it'll all lie squarely on the shapely shoulders of the prisoners. In return, Devlin says he'll look kindly on Case for the job of Attorney General. Yeah, serving under the Devil. Now *there's* a reward. Alvah, who bears a striking resemblance to both the principal on 'Boston Public' and Uncle Phil on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, goes hot on the trail of why the riot occured. He talks to just about everyone including McManus (who's having a hard time defending Em City with that big bulletwound in his chest) and Said (who maintains there *was* no riot, just a struggle against injustice). Alvah ain't getting too far, but that's okay because he's got bigger fish to fry. Scott Ross is dead (and the peasants rejoice) but his death leaves a bad taste in his mouth (Ross'll do that). With all the bullets flying, Ross got shot in the head, heart and (cross your legs, guys) groin. Hmmm.. that ain't right. So Alvah's on the Case again (Ha ha! Will the humour never stop?), this time trying to figure out if Ross was offed. They trace the bullets in Ross to a SORT team member. After said SORT team member says he "misplaced" his coveted gun, Case realizes he's covering for someone, most likely a C.O. The prisoners aren't liking the cozy surroundings in their new crammed pods in Gen Pop. Wangler needs tits (nothing new there) and Beecher's taken to rhyming. Hey man, the crazier, the better I say. Beecher's new roommate, James Robson, is having trouble falling asleep and decides that a nice, soothing blowjob, courtesy of Beecher is in order. Uh... Robson? The prag-train's left the station, buddy. All you got left is CrazyBeecher and I wouldn't put my *finger* in his mouth, never mind my.. well, you know. Ah, Robson, you didn't listen, and now Beecher's bitten off the tip of your penis. Life's a bitch when you don't heed warnings, son. Case is still Scooby-Dooing it around Oz, questioning people about Ross. His conclusion: He wasn't well liked. Good detective work, Alvah, my man. Case figures out through various sources that Wittlesey is the most likely to have offed Ross. Schillinger doesn't sell Wittlesey out, even though he was close to Ross because he wants to make his parole and he makes it known that he wants Diane to put in the good word for him. I honestly can't think of one good word to describe Schillinger. Bald? Scary? The voice of the yellow M&M in the commercials? Okay, that's more than one word, but i had to stick that in there. Dobbins is dead. Hill is sad. Just so you know. Rebadow stops being old and scared enough to let Case in on the cigarettes deal that Wittlesey and Ross had going. O'Reily says that the two were always whispering to each other in corners. Beecher even stops being crazy long enough to tell Case from the Hole to check the bullets in McManus--they're from Said's gun, which he dropped and Ross picked up. Man, what is it about this place? Usually you can't find one person to confess that he saw something, now they're practically lining up like my Aunt Tessie at the county pie-eating contest. So now Case has got motive (Ross shot McManus), weapon (the gun from the SORT guy) and ability (she stupidly says she 'cradled Tim in her arms' which meant her arms must've not been tied behind her back the whole time). Confronted with the evidence, Diane all but confesses saying she "refuses to be anyone's victim". Word. Sisters doin' it for themselves. So, Diane's screwed, but Case's heart softens when he hears that Wittlesey's life and the life of her daughter will be ruined if he comes forward with his information. Case relents and reports that the riots were the fault of no one and and that measures will be taken to insure it'll never happen again (I'll believe that when I see it). Devlin's pissed that the prisoners aren't being charged, but he's always been an angry little midget. The Governor insists that this won't help Alvah's chances for becoming Attorney General, but Case informs him he has no intent of becoming Attorney General-- he wants to be Governor. Uh-oh! You got Uncle Phil mad, Governor! So, Diane keeps her job, and the riot leaders are let out of solitary. Because, in the end, Oz is all about the love. The love and the violence.