Episode 32 of "Oz"
s04e08 You Bet Your Life

Apparantly you can't shoot the Governor without some sort of 'punishment'. Go figure. Clayton Hughes is sentenced for shooting at Governor Devil-- er, Governor Devlin. While I ain't a big fan of Hughes, I'm kind of glad to see the devil get his comeuppance. Glynn resigns from the race for lieutenant Governor to be there for Hughes. Just a thought, Leo: Maybe the time to be there for Clayton was *before* he took aim at a politician. Just saying is all. Mobay/Basil is the most efficient drug trafficker ever and the worst undercover narc at the same time. His new life as a thriving drug snorter and seller with a Ja-fake-an accent is in danger of ending as the feds start to ask about Bruno Gergan's (who? Oh yeah... elevator shaft guy) death. To add to M/B's trouble, Hill realizes he knows M/B's girlfriend because she was the cop who was there the night Hill got thrown off a building. M/B does whatever any self-respecting cop might do in that position and beats Hill like a dirty carpet. He realizes the sham he's become and admits to the authorities that he killed Gergan (who? Oh yeah...). My eyes burn with the pain of a thousand fires as O'Reily and Howell make sweet prison-bathroom love again. And, Ryan? Just because you're thinking about Dr. Nathan while you're doing it doesn't mean we can erase the horrible, scarring memories that easily. Apparantly Ryan's really bad at covering his tracks because even Cyril starts to notice there's something going on between him and 'that woman'. Cyril doesn't like it and rightly notes that he can beat Ryan up. Bet you wish you hadn't taught him how to box so well now, do you O'Reily? Ryan does what he knows best-- he lies. He tells Sister Pete and Gloria that Cyril's having nightmares and that he's saying "crazy things." Sister Pete talks to Cyril about his nightmares and God and Cyril notes that "We don't choose God, God chooses us," a line which Sister Pete will steal and pass off as her own many times. Her heart-to-heart with Cyril results in Cyril getting more sleepy-time drugs. Her next stop is to meet with Chris Keller to talk about why she was considering resigning as a nun. She also talks to him about God but Chris looks bored so she hits him with the A-material, mainly "We don't choose God, God chooses us" (sound familiar?) We hear the faint sounds of Cyril grumbling at having his only profound line snatched. For the record, Keller doesn't believe God will pick him. Maybe it sounded better coming out of Cyril? Pete rips up her "I'm not a nun anymore" papers anyway. On this episode of "The Golden Guys" Rebadow is okay and does not get old and die as I thought he would. Busmalis is happy to have his buddy back. It's a pretty good time to be Busmalis, on the whole. He's getting a visit from none other than Miss Massive Mammaries herself, Miss Sally. Only problem is, it isn't Miss Sally (who sounds like a real bitch) but her secretary, Norma. Busmalis likes Norma anyway (c'mon he's in prison.. who is he to be picky?) and the two start a slightly creepy romance. Surprises abound this episode as Schillinger gets a visit from a daughter-in-law he didn't know he had. Carrie Schillinger is pregnant with Hank's child which means Schillinger's gonna be a grandpa. And if that don't creep you out, you have no soul. Not enough death has happened so far in this episode. This sounds like a job for O'Reily and his trusty sidekick, K-Boy. Keller says the word 'fandango' and I giggle. The two formulate a plan to get things back to normal around Oz (ie. before Querns) and their plan is full of spilt blood. Shemin dies and Beecher is blamed by Adebisi for having something to do with it, since the two were, shall we say, "intimate". Beecher goes to Keller's pod to look for the murder weapon and instead gets a lovely story about how Keller got his tattoo. To sum the story up he got it while drunk, he wanted people to think he was almighty and that's why Beecher shouldn't sleep around. A lovely parable for our times. Beecher says he's gonna squeal about him to Adebisi, but Keller says if he does he'll tell Vern about the hit he put on Hank. Point 1, Keller. Hill says money is a burden. Weigh me down, baby. Ryan and K-Boy's excellent adventure continues as Ryan steals Supreme Allah's necklace and arranges for a delivery truck to be late so Mondo has to wait alone for it while Keller does his part by offering Mondo a blowjob (hardly fair division of labour, I say). Keller puts out a match with his tongue and then snuffs Mondo (get my clever pun? Ah, my humour is wasted on you). Supreme's necklace 'mysteriously' shows up at the crime scene and the murder weapon is found in his pod. Allah is sent to solitary. Adebisi's reign isn't ending soon enough for Said and when he hears that Adebisi's been making videotapes of his escapades, he becomes his roommate in order to try and get his hands on a tape. Adebisi confesses he likes Said and gives him a tape, convinced Said won't give it up. Said turns Adebisi in to Adebisi's surprise and Adebisi attacks Said with a shank to Said's surprise. The scuffle continues until Said comes out with a bloody shank in his hand and Adebisi comes out with a hole in his back. There is no joy in Mudville for mighty Simon has been shanked.