Episode 2 of "Oz"
s01e02 Visits... Conjugal and Otherwise

Ortolani's still dead, and the Wiseguys ain't too impressed. For the record, neither is the warden, but I'll bet you a shiny new quarter that the Wiseguys are gonna get results before Glynn does. The investigator, Burrano, interviews Keene, Groves and Busmalis to find out what they know, but he figures that Ryan O'Reily is a pretty safe bet considering how conniving he is. 'Course, Ryan's always one step ahead, letting it be known to the Wiseguys that Post is the one who actually lit the match. In contrast to O'Reily's wheelings and dealings, Beecher's been in his bunk so long, his mattress has an indent of his ass. Diane Wittlesey, a guard in Em City, suggests that Beecher go to Sister Peter Marie and arrange a conjugal visit with his wife, Genevieve. Because apparently having your wife cook for you and have sex with you helps you forget you're in prison. *shrug* I'm game. He arranges the visit, but the affair seems to do more for him than it does for her. Maybe it's that swastika tattoo burned on his butt? Nah. Beecher's warm, fuzzy feeling lasts about 10 seconds for when he returns to Em City, Schillinger has found his family photos and is perusing them whilst taunting Beecher. Beecher tears the photos into pieces. Conjugal visits come up on the spending chopping block, sending the prisoners scrambling to get some last minute nookie. Governor Devlin thinks that getting rid of conjugal visits will save money. I think keeping big, strong, angry men happy is more important than $3M but then, what do I know? Keane doesn't just want a conjugal with his girlfriend Mavis, he wants to get married. So does she, even though he's going to be in Oz for life. Awww.. prison love. McManus can't seem to get the two hitched, but a few words from Said send Glynn practically vying to be the flower girl at Keane's wedding. McManus is not pleased-- but what else is new? Unfortunately for Keane, the marriage has to be by proxy since he can't leave the prison. His stand-in wife, Adebisi, isn't the beautiful, blushing bride you think he could be. Maybe a little lipstick? Hill confesses he loves pussy. Thanks, Hill! Mukada, having no luck convincing Alvarez to take responsibility for his baby, turns to Alvarez's grandfather who is also, conveniently enough, in Oz (so is Alvarez's dad, for the record, but his lack of a tongue makes him kind of a moot point. hehe.. a moot mute! I'm sorry. Really I am.) It seems to do the trick. C'mon, you just can't argue with grandpa. Schibetta's wife dies and just as you start to feel bad for the guy you see him cope with his feelings of loss by deciding to off Johnny Post. Lucky for O'Reily, loudmouth Post insists with his last breaths that Ortolani's death was all his doing. Real bright, Post. And the moral of the story? Love will always and forever, break your heart. My thoughts exactly, Hill...